McDonalds, you let me down.

     It seems that every time I drive down to Portland, someone tries to keep me from getting back home to Tacoma. Regardless, I have been able to push my way through, until now.
      Around 4:30 yesterday afternoon, I decided to head north. When I started my trip, there was nothing unusual; some light rain and a little evening traffic. About half way, the rain picked up, but that's nothing unusual for the Northwest. Soon, traffic came to a halt, and I was being ushered off I-5. I decided to mindlessly follow the car in front of me onto an unfamiliar highway leading to the mountains. I soon decided that this seemed too much like a scary movie, so I pulled over at a gas station for some help. 
    At the gas station, I was relieved to find the only person in the store was the asian attendant that speaks little English. I started to ask her if she knew what was going on with I-5 and she responded with something like, "I don't know anything, and even if I did, you wouldn't understand me anyway." So I decided to be independent and figure my own way North using an old fashioned map. Just as I figured out where I was, the token "guy who knows what he's talking about, but is just as lost as you are" walked in. He told me that I-5 was flooded and my planned route was a good one, then proceeded to find the bathroom. I got in my car, continued on my original path, but this time with some direction. 
    As I was driving on this mystery highway full of trees and turns, looking for some town called Morton, the rain continued. There were not many signs, so I was beginning to think that I had missed it. I decided that I would turn around in 5 miles if I still hadn't seen anything, when I found what I was looking for: Morton     12 Miles. 
   Unfortunately, as soon as I passed that sign, sure enough, there was yet another road block. Highway 12 was also closed. I pulled into yet another gas station, and this time bought the map. A cop broke the news to me that all of the North bound highways were closed, and so I began my journey back to Portland. 
    It was now around 7:45 and I hadn't eaten anything since lunch because I thought I'd be home by now. As I made my way through hydroplane city, I decided that I would take a stop at Kelso, the next big town. 
    It seemed like an eternity to Kelso. I thought they had a Taco Time, but I couldn't find it so I decided to settle for my old childhood friend, McDonalds. As I pulled in, I noticed that Taco Time was there, in fact, they share a parking lot! The reason I missed it was because the lights were off. I thought that was weird, and continued on towards a snack wrap. I pulled up to the intercom with a skeptical eye because McDonalds also looked dark. I was reassured when a voice came over the speakers asking if I wanted to try the new spicy chicken burger, and I responded with, "No thanks. Man, I thought you guys were closed." After a few more minutes, no one asked for my order and I realized that they were in fact closed, and no one heard me turn down the chicken burger. I quickly drove away and jumped back on the freeway, hoping that no one saw me.
   I tried round 2 at a different McDonalds, a little closer to my sisters and 5 hours since I left her house. I was ticked when they gave me a regular coke instead of diet. 


Kjrsten said...

should have gone to burgerville

Christian said...

I hate Kelso. The only town in Washington that I hate more than Kelso is Longview which interestingly enough is right next to Kelson.

anna said...

it would have been worth it to wait to eat in gresham where the turkey burgers are consumable in one city block!

alexismunoa said...

i want a MCD's soft cone sooooo bad right now. I also want you!! Thanks for putting up with my stinky self. I showered today and it made me sleep for 4 hours after. hahhaha really though, thank you so much for being such a good loving sister.. i miss you already!

alexismunoa said...

i need your address!