Around 4:30 yesterday afternoon, I decided to head north. When I started my trip, there was nothing unusual; some light rain and a little evening traffic. About half way, the rain picked up, but that's nothing unusual for the Northwest. Soon, traffic came to a halt, and I was being ushered off I-5. I decided to mindlessly follow the car in front of me onto an unfamiliar highway leading to the mountains. I soon decided that this seemed too much like a scary movie, so I pulled over at a gas station for some help.
At the gas station, I was relieved to find the only person in the store was the asian attendant that speaks little English. I started to ask her if she knew what was going on with I-5 and she responded with something like, "I don't know anything, and even if I did, you wouldn't understand me anyway." So I decided to be independent and figure my own way North using an old fashioned map. Just as I figured out where I was, the token "guy who knows what he's talking about, but is just as lost as you are" walked in. He told me that I-5 was flooded and my planned route was a good one, then proceeded to find the bathroom. I got in my car, continued on my original path, but this time with some direction.
As I was driving on this mystery highway full of trees and turns, looking for some town called Morton, the rain continued. There were not many signs, so I was beginning to think that I had missed it. I decided that I would turn around in 5 miles if I still hadn't seen anything, when I found what I was looking for: Morton 12 Miles.
Unfortunately, as soon as I passed that sign, sure enough, there was yet another road block. Highway 12 was also closed. I pulled into yet another gas station, and this time bought the map. A cop broke the news to me that all of the North bound highways were closed, and so I began my journey back to Portland.
It was now around 7:45 and I hadn't eaten anything since lunch because I thought I'd be home by now. As I made my way through hydroplane city, I decided that I would take a stop at Kelso, the next big town.
It seemed like an eternity to Kelso. I thought they had a Taco Time, but I couldn't find it so I decided to settle for my old childhood friend, McDonalds. As I pulled in, I noticed that Taco Time was there, in fact, they share a parking lot! The reason I missed it was because the lights were off. I thought that was weird, and continued on towards a snack wrap. I pulled up to the intercom with a skeptical eye because McDonalds also looked dark. I was reassured when a voice came over the speakers asking if I wanted to try the new spicy chicken burger, and I responded with, "No thanks. Man, I thought you guys were closed." After a few more minutes, no one asked for my order and I realized that they were in fact closed, and no one heard me turn down the chicken burger. I quickly drove away and jumped back on the freeway, hoping that no one saw me.
I tried round 2 at a different McDonalds, a little closer to my sisters and 5 hours since I left her house. I was ticked when they gave me a regular coke instead of diet.